Monday, October 19, 2009

random thought for today...don't live on snacks alone.

Today I have been thinking, and no I didn't strain anything. haha. but anywho, I was thinking about somethin.

I saw my suitmate,Anisha, today and I hadn't seen her about, 24 hours, give or take a few. But when we saw each other she told me that she felt like she hadn't seen my in days! and really, it did feel like it had been a few days.

Here comes the thinking and aplication part...

i thought: What if we were like that with God? If we didn't have time to read our Bible and spend time with him would we feel that same longing to be together again?
I know as a college student involved in so much ministry, classes, church, work, sports, etc. that its hard to find time to spend with God. Im just as guilty as anyone else. I know that I sometimes fail to dive into the word everyday because I get some of it in chapel. it's like being super hungary and only getting a little bit of something so amazing that we want seconds, and thirds. How are we to survive off of a snack? I know this is a cheesy analogy and I notice that all of my "little analogies" always have to do with food, for the most part. haha. But, I just want to encourage everyone to take time to spend with God, and I'm definately included in this. I'm challenging myself as well. I was thinking, if we don't get into the habit of getting into the word everyday, even when we don't feel like it or feel dry as a river, and when we don't have anything left to give, then how are we going to when we launch out into full time ministry? Sometimes its easy to forget that we are in ministry right now. I know I forget, and sometimes even toss it around lightly. Everyone goes through tough times, and struggles, and temptations, but we need to go to the word and spend time with God. We can't just live off of what happened in chapel. Don't misunderstand me, chapel is amazing, but it shouldn't stop there. We should be strong in our devos, having that full relationship with God. The Bible says to recieve the fullness of God, and I think that can be taken in the relationship aspect.
Our God is a jelous God. He cares so much for us!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

lessons from a child...

So the other day I was sitting in my suit mate, Anisha's room, and we were discussing notes for A/G History and Polity. So we got about half way into them and then went off on this huge, 3 hour long Jesus rant! It was so awesome! We were diffinatly iron sharping iron. I loved it. But the point about the child....
Anisha was telliing me about this girl at her church back home, and this little girl looked up to her so much and wanted to be just like her that she even started to try to sneeze like Anisha. I guess she sneezes weird or somethin. I thought that was just the cutest thing, and I even remembered when I tried to do things exactly like the person that I had looked up to so many years ago.

But then I thought... what if we did that with Jesus? What if we truely tried to be just like Him? what would that even look like? I mean, in the Bible it tells us to "be holy for He is holy."

Holiness: it's nothing less than conforming to Jesus.

God is definately dealing with me on this issue. Every time I turn around someone is mentioning holiness in a sermon or in the classroom! I'm so baffled by it. Holiness. What a thought! Striving to be just like God, in every day situations. Wow.

I think sometimes people hear the word "holiness" and they know that it could be attainable, only if you're a pastor, or some amazingly spiritual missionary or something.
Holiness if for everyone! God created us to be holy! I just keep thinking.... what would that even look like if we went all out, and with every fiber of our being, strived to be holy? Oh how awesome!

So I encourage all of you to strive to be holy, in thought, action, and even the words you speak. Let God mold you into His likeness. Be willing for Him to mold you.

Monday, July 6, 2009

ok it's cheezy, but still, i like it!

ok so just go with me here:
i was passing a church on the waoy to ash grove to see my mom and the name of the church was evergreen bapstist, which got me thinking.... i want to be like the evergreen....
ever like Jesus
ever loving
ever compassionate
ever forgiving

we should always be striving to be like Him, in everything that we do. standing tall just like.... an evergreen!


Tuesday, June 9, 2009


so i really feel like i am doing nothing of value this summer. its driving me crazy that i am not somewhere doing something!!! i want to be overseas or at least out of state, even another city would be fine. i cant stand it anymore in springfield!!!! im going nuts! I dont like the thought of my bf out there living it up and i am stuck here! i want to work with my youth group and do ministry in my home church, yano poor back into the church that has poured quite a bit into me. i know this summer isnt useless, i know God has a plan. im just not sure what it is and its frusterating. sometimes it feels as though there wont be a "plan" for me to follow this summer. its gone by so fast, i dont want to waste it, i want to use it to get closer to God. i am going to youth camp in 2 weeks as an assistant dorm leader with my church i know God will do mighty things. i know ministry cant happen over night, it involves time to make strong relationships, establish trust, and so forth. ugh. i look to God he is my source of strength. its just frusterating sometimes.

Friday, April 3, 2009

situations shape who you are.

what has college done to me? is that really the question or is it what have i allowed college to do to me? im thinking its prolly the later. man, this has been a super rough year. i dont want to quit, but sometimes when i let my mind free to wander i can't help but think about this and be tempted. i don't think i would ever leave, i dont think i could.

but now after looking back on this year, i can't help but wonder who i am. when i came here i was so stinkin sure of who i was. i knew who i was in Christ. i still know i am a child of the king, but what i dont know, is who is that child of the king? im trying so hard to find myself in God. i guess you just have to go to source to find that out. i just need to get away for a weekend or something. i just need to get away from people here and just think and draw close to God. i miss those youth camp days b/c there was no one to bother you and God. it was so peaceful. im going to have to find the youth camp life again.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Azuza Street Revival!

So I'm sitting back stage waiting for my first scene in the Azuza play. I can't help but think of the past two performences we've had. God has fallen in such a mighty way! I've heard such awesome stories of how people have been touched. Man, this is what its all about! Like Sis Mo said, even if it's one person that gets touched its all worth it! Man, so far during some of the scenes it's like I get a glimpse of the Azuza Revial. It's so intense! I'm just praying that the cast and crew of this play, never get tired of this. i mean, even though its the same lines and same exact thing everytime, somehow it NEVER gets old! God's spirit falls! whew! its powerful stuff.

Monday, February 2, 2009

The God "Experience"

I'm sitting here getting ready to go to bed and just had this thought and had to write about it before i forgot about it.
I've noticed that sometimes people, (myself included) tend to seek the "experience" of God, and not God himself. We just want to "feel" God and then we're happy until we come back when our cup is empty. Instead of living like this, I want to daily have my cup refilled! It's kinda like when you go to a resturant and the guy constantly fills your glass even when you've only taken 4 sips out of it. Or what about when people come by and fill your mug with more coffee, making the coffee warmer than what it was previously. Well it's like that with God. I want to have God pour a fresh anointing, and a fresh since of His presence in my life, everyday. How can we stand to live on yesterday's cold coffee? God wants to refresh us, but we settle for less when God has more to give. The Bible says to recieve the fullness of God. sometimes we are content with part of it. I know I want to live everyday with a fresh anointing. I want that refilling in my coffee cup! I don't want just an experience, I want God! (I don't mean to talk down upon the awesome experiences we do have with God. Thats not what I'm trying to say at all) I want to see God's face. I want to know every little thing about Him and His personality. Everyday is a new adventure with my father, and I cherish every minute of it!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Who am I?

Seriously? Who am I to go to a place, by myself, where Christians are persecuted. The country is number 6 on the the top ten most persecuted countries in the world! Who am I to go there when I can't even witness in my home town? I feel like the biggest hypocrite. I am not ready for this. How can I preach when I don't even know how? I'm think... kinda considering, about a decision that is prolly gonna ruin my future. You can take it as running from my calling, while persuing it at the sametime. ugh. This is rediculous.

But God is so awesome. He has put all of this together in his perfect timing. He was workin even when I didn't see Him. I'm going forth, not looking back! I'm plunging into this missions thing! I hear God calling, and now...ready or not, here I go!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Heart on a Sleeve

Most people have heard of the saying "Wearing your heart on your sleeve." When I first heard that I wasn't really sure what all it meant. Now, from experince, I do. I have found that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Sometimes I take it off for a short while, but most of the time it remains on my sleeve. I didn't used to be like this. In fact I was quite the opposite.
At first, I liked wearing my heart, displaying it for all to see. I was loud, and outgoing. (still am, but not as much) It was as though I had been rewarded with awesome friendships by this simple act. Now, I find that it just gets me in trouble. People have just torn it apart, made it bleed, and walked all over it, taking advantage. Now it's been forced back inside where it belongs. But now, I'm tired of hiding my heart. I want to take that risk of putting it out there again. I mean, I was silly to think in the first place that my heart would be ok when it's all exposed. But I have to wonder,in this new enviorment, if its a bad thing to wear my heart on my sleeve? To put it back out there. Unfortunatly there are wolves amoung the sheep. All I want to do is glorify God.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Programing worship?

I was recently at the WMS2 where people from all around the world gathered to worship and praise our God. (also, to recruit people to missions...haha) But really, it was the most amazing time I've experienced. I would have to say it was some of the best worship from this past semester. Anyways, when I came back to CBC it was like someone turned a switch on. I found it harder to really get into worship, to that level of intensity that is. Why is it that when we're at functions that the WMS2 or youth rallys we sing to the top of lungs...well almost...and when we come back, its like we get back into the old worship habits? I'm so sick of it. I know people who go to youth camp experience that a lot. In today's world we're so sure that it'll happen the question no longer is "will it happen?" its now, "how long until it happens?" its almost like we speak it into our own lives, its like we accept defeat before the battle even begins. Have we been "programed" to worship in different ways depending on our surroundings? its kinda like, if we're home we worship half-heartedly, but when we're on a missions trip or an outreach or at a church function, we turn that switch on and get focused in, and want God so much. we don't want to leave unchanged. why can't it be that way EVERYDAY? God deserves more than what we're giving Him. I'm not trying to sound as if I'm putting people down and saying everyone in the whole world is a horrible worshipper. I'm simply saying that no matter what "level" we're at, we can always give God more. On the days when we don't "feel" like worshipping, or the days we don't feel good, or are just too busy, we need to remember to worship God with all that we are. ever fiber of our being. Thats why he created us! If we don't worship Him the rocks will cry out. I don't know about you, but I don't want some rock doing the very thing I am created to do. We should worship Him with our very lives. the things that we do and say everyday. Honor God in all you do. Break out of the worldly mold. it doesn't matter what others are thinking, it only matters what He thinks of our worship. He deserves more than what we're giving Him.